Tuesday, July 13, 2010

How to Lose a Guy in One Vacation

Perhaps lose isn't the proper term as I mean to kick this guy out of my memory lane without passing go or collecting two hundred dollars. I want to leave him locked inside a lobster trap at the bottom of Booth Bay Harbor Maine, or perch him under a boulder here in the woods of Lake Tahoe, California. Not him, of course, but the memory of him and the possibility and excitement I shared around him.

I'm talking here about one of the guys previously dated on one of these dates who, for google's sake, we'll call George (fingers crossed I don't actually meet a George on the rest of these excursions!) It's my fault really that I ended up beginning to fall (we're not talking cliff diving here, just peeking over the edge, getting excited about what's below, and getting ready to strap on a bungee cord) when he clearly wasn't available but gosh darn it if I didn't feel I just had to give it a try! So there were key dates and dinner dates and hudson dates and dinner dates. I got so tripped over my feet thrilled at finding someone passionate about what they do I ignored the heavily punctuated fact that he ended his work tales with "this is why I can't be in a relationship. I'm too busy." I threw away his signs of past heartbreak, his current closed-for-dating-business signs prominently hanging outside himself (they were practically neon for goodness sakes). But still, I'm bummed he couldn't at least have told me over an email, a text, gosh ANYTHING but the radio silence I've received for the past three weeks.

I fully recognize it's heartbreakingly difficult to have to tell someone you're not that into them and I am not at all claiming I am good at it. There is absolutely no right way to go about it and you're going to feel uncomfortable and awkward and probably more than a little bad about yourself. I don't tend to date people I dislike (a good practice I recommend heartily) which means I am often letting down nice guys. But come ON people, if you get the butterflies and delight and skipping-hopscotch feeling delights that come with meeting someone you DO click with, you're going to have to put up with the icky, mud sandwich moments that come with the territory as well. You can't just walk away from someone without saying a single word. Where do people get off believing that is OK?

Decent or not I'm here in California thinking of George and just wanting to rid my head of him. For the record, he's a great guy and it's not that I think he's the scum of the earth, just disappointed of actions took or not taken. Let it also be known that, yes, we had only been on 4 or so dates and no, I'm not crazy and saying I lost the love of my life. I'm just a slightly more deflated-balloon (think Winnie the Pooh when he goes honey hunting) because not only did I feel we had a possibility but also that it was ended so passively, presumably meant to only keep me guessing (Will he call today? Maybe that email is from him? Yes this sounds pathetic but you've all done it too!) until three weeks go by and I must guess that yes, he's either been eaten alive by one of those rabid raccoons running around central park or, I probably won't see him again. I also just can't stand , and I'm talking can't stand like you hate the the mean girls who tease your new bracelet in High School, the way that this inevitably makes me a drop more cautious, a drop less trusting and a spoonful more weary. I like my optimism verymuchthankyou and it's frustrated when someone comes along and messes with the whole layout.

So? What to do when you wake up with a case of the blues over a guy and you want to kick yourself for even caring but yet you have to acknowledge where you're at or you'll just knock yourself down further? How about living out a fantasy? Perhaps one listed at the top of your blog post. Put on some hiking shoes, climb to a remote spot in Tahoe, write down his name and stick it under a bolder;leaving him in CA so you're rested and rejuvenated and ready for action when you come back to NY. Pictures of the spot will be posted when I return this evening.

So, maybe it will be a good day after all.

But I still want my Calvin and Hobbes book back!!!

Cheering up,



  1. oh, no, absolutely not, he did NOT steal your calvin & hobbes book, you get that back, he can't just run off with it like that

  2. Where do people get off believing that is OK?

    People who want to get over you. Hearing it wouldn't have been better, and with your seemingly aggressive and pushy attitude he seems to have a good reason. My advise: take it easy and have fun. If you don't set any future plans in your head than you have less chance to be hurt and to make it awkward. I think you're blind looking for something long-term, he obviously wasn't interested in your advances. You coulda kicked back and enjoyed the evening, and a free dinner isn't bad. Also a lot of guys really don't like when girls ostentatiously put out, just sayin'. You'll get a good deal for Calvin and Hobbes on Amazon. Don't make that an excuse to talk to him you'd just set yourself up for more heartbreak.

    Good luck, there are a lot of (nice) guys who are interested in a relationship. I hope you find someone you like who doesn't push you away. Just have some fun, life's a play like Shakespeare says.