Sunday, August 1, 2010

How To Be Alone

Admission: This project is tough! It involves free time and effort, and smiles and un-understanding friends and supportive and curious minds. It's made me get out and explore on days when I think I'd rather stay in bed and have to hear (and say) hard words on this path. Today, on this lovely rainy Sunday, while I fold laundry and calmly rock out to my new Sony Speakers, I'm reflecting also on how it's hard that I haven't FOUND "the one" (or, ok, since I don't believe in that, a possibility) yet. Part of me imagined that the second I flung this out in the universe Mr. Could-Be would jump out of the bushes, (ah ha! You found me! Here I am!) and the summer would turn into an adventure, and blooming, of a relationship (I know, I still believe in magic, so sue me) And, as you know, that has not happened yet. Don't get me wrong, I love the adventure, the sites, the wonder, the magic of the key-turn, but I'm sure all you readers, as well as myself, were hoping for more re-peat visitors.

As I ponder this, "Again and Again" by the Bird and the Bee playing in the background, my amazing friend Kim comes through once again with sharing this gorgeous video entitled "How To Be Alone." It's a visualization of the beautiful caramel-apple like poem by Tanya Davis, the rockstar Canadian poet who performs the piece herself. I think "How To Be Alone" encapsulates everything sad and lovely and melancholy and tip-toe-terrific about being alone even when, "Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile no one is dating them." Her words are wonderful and her accent, added to this whimsical animation, just can't help but make you smile.

Watch this on this pretty gray Sunday.

Perhaps the only thing better than being alone (when you allow it and acknowledge it and treasure it) is being with a love, and being alone and with someone at the same time. Those quiet moments where you both sip your tea, waking in the morning, rousing from sleep and finding someone's arm on your back. Truth be told, these moments exist more in the fictional realm of my memory (movies and novels and the like) than in past history, but I know it's out there. And I know it's worth waiting for.

One half of one of the most delightful couples I have ever met (seriously, they just SHINE), after reading my Pleasures of Being Single post, wrote to me the following email:

           "I read your blog entry about the pleasures of being single and it really resonated with me. I think it's totally true what you say about it allowing space and time to explore yourself and the world around you. The only thing better than being single, in my opinion, is being with someone who's really a perfect match for you (which is what we're all looking for ultimately, right? at least, most of us are). I feel like my fiancee and i are lucky enough to have that, for which i'm incredibly thankful, but it took a long time to find each other. And I have to say, learning to enjoy the waiting -- and the searching -- made the finally finding each other even sweeter."

How's that for inspiration?

Enjoy this day, and those you love, and who love you, and yourself most of all.




  1. Lauren, check it out - my photos from The Point...there are a few of them:

  2. Amazing post Lauren. Well written. The idea of being alone particularly resonates with me. Even though I love being around others, I also love quiet time to reflect and just be. It's even more amazing when that time can happen with another person, I agree. I feel like it's rare when we can just *be* with another person.